Leap of Faith

Why is it so difficult to listen to your heart and take that leap of faith? Every time I take a step forward to leap into what seems to be a valley of bliss, something pulls me back, anticipating an abyss of loneliness.

Every smile that the thought of you puts on my lips, wants me to go ahead and feel happiness again. But, then again I’m reminded of the unending sleepless nights spent crying. I want to move on and ahead, but I’m scared of being pulled back.

It took me a lot to move on from the pain, and I am not even sure if I have done so completely yet. The thought of it all coming back haunts me, scares me and stops me. The fear of being hurt stops me from falling in love again.

If at all someone is to be blamed, it’d be my crazy little heart. Yes, the heart that wants to love, but without being broken; the heart that longs to be loved, but without taking a step forward.

Also posted on The Anonymous Writer

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Who are you?

Despite being a writer, I’ve never written about you and that has always been your complaint from me. So, today, I decided to give this a shot and give words to what I feel for you.

I think of what you mean to me. Are you just my love or my best friend too? Aren’t you the one who I owe most of my smiles to? Or the one from whom my tears don’t shy away? Are you the one who pushes me to my best? Or the one who makes me not want to quit?

Every time I try to write about you, these questions don’t let me. I fall short of words while answering these. But, today I have an answer. An answer that’s probably meagre of what you are to me.

You are my sunshine.

No, not just the one that lights up my life.

You are the winter sunshine. The sunshine that warms me when the winter chill breaks through my window panes. You’re the sunshine that catches hold of my hand and takes me out to the nature’s beauty. The one that gives me solace.

My sunshine.

My serendipity.

That’s what you are.